Why Do People Feel Offended by Tall People? A 6’9” Perspective

I’m 6’9”, and I’ve been towering over most people since my teens—whether I was playing college basketball in the USA, going pro in the Netherlands, or now running TFT Designs in Southern California. Most of the time, my height sparks fun conversations. I’ll be out, and someone will say, “Wow, you’re tall!” or “I usually don’t feel short, but you make me feel tiny—haha!” My favorite is when people ask, “Where do you get those fantastic-looking dress shirts?” (Hint: I never stop talking about TFT Designs, where we make dress shirts for tall, slim guys who don’t fit the “big and tall” mold.) These interactions are great—they make me smile and remind me how my height can be a conversation starter. But not every exchange is so positive. Sometimes, people seem genuinely offended by my height, and after years of navigating these reactions, I’ve got some thoughts on why that might be.

The Not-So-Fun Interactions

Don’t get me wrong—most people are kind, but there’s a flip side. I’ve gotten ugly looks at concerts or movie theaters, with people muttering about me being in front of them. I get it—it’s annoying if you can’t see. But I didn’t choose to be 6’9”, and I have just as much right to enjoy the show as anyone else. I’ll try to slouch or move if I can, but sometimes there’s no fixing it. It’s not personal, so why the mean girl energy?

The worst experiences came in my 20s, especially when I was out socializing. I’d be minding my own business, and some random guy would walk up and say, “Just because you’re tall doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass.” Bro, I don’t even know you—why are you so mad? Or there’d be the classic, “I could dunk on you, man.” One, no, you can’t—I played pro basketball, so I’d know. Two, why say that unprovoked? It’s such a random flex, and it always felt like they were projecting their insecurities onto me. I’m just out here existing, trying to have a good time. If you wouldn’t say it to someone shorter, why say it to me? The golden rule applies: be nice, or don’t say anything at all.

Why the Offense? Unpacking the Psychology

So, why do some people feel offended by tall folks like me? I think it comes down to a mix of psychology and societal norms. Height is often tied to dominance and power in our culture—think of phrases like “looking up to someone” or “standing tall.” A 2015 study from the University of St Andrews found that taller people are often perceived as more authoritative and competent, even if they’re not trying to be. That perception can make others feel intimidated or inadequate, especially if they’re already insecure about their own height. It’s not my fault, but I become a walking reminder of their self-doubt.

There’s also the “tall poppy syndrome” idea—where people feel the need to cut down those who stand out. In my case, I literally stand out, and some folks take that as a challenge. A 2018 article from Psychology Today notes that people may feel threatened by those who differ from the norm, and height is an obvious difference. When I was younger, those aggressive comments—like the “I can kick your ass” guy—often came from men trying to prove something. Impressing the girl next to them at the bar who could care less. It’s as if my height threatened their sense of masculinity, so they had to assert dominance. I’ve learned to brush it off, but it still stings to be a target for no reason.

Let’s Normalize Tallness—and Kindness

These experiences have taught me a lot about navigating the world as a tall person. I can’t change how others react, but I can control how I carry myself. I’ve worked hard to build confidence, whether I’m ducking through a doorway or designing clothes that finally fit my frame. That’s why I started TFT Designs—to empower tall folks to feel great in their skin, not just on the court or at a concert, but every day. We’re not here to intimidate anyone; we’re just living our lives.

To those who feel offended by tall people, I’d say this: we’re not trying to make you feel small. We’re just as human as you, with our own struggles—like finding clothes that fit or not hitting our heads on low ceilings. And to my fellow tall folks, keep owning your height. Don’t let the naysayers dim your shine. At the same time, also be kind to our short kings, they deserve that too. What’s been your experience as a tall person—or with tall people? Drop a comment below!